The saga of ETHS
by Aniah
Summary: Boredom and love went into this, tales of ETOWN. So far: Marching Band, Concert band, Boys' swimcult, Resource Center, and Etown-Trevian Home Game
1. Reasons why the ETHS Marching Band is 'h...

"Reasons the ETHS Band is Holy"  
  
Aniah/Jessica Katz  
  
AniaHope@aol.com  
  
* * *  
  
A lowly freshman seeks to pay tribute to the WKMB of 01-02  
  
* * *  
  
Verse one:  
  
Our uniforms are orange,  
  
Our uniforms are blue,  
  
The weather outside,  
  
Is too hot for you.  
  
Chorus:  
  
Pizza is hot and lemonade sugared,  
  
The Wildkit band isn't phased  
  
We go marching in  
  
The drumline reverb rings  
  
sound of triangle  
  
Plays will be made  
  
And football will be played  
  
The Wildkit band isn't phased  
  
( hey hey hey!)  
  
We are singing to ya,  
  
Lordy we don't fool ya,  
  
Let the game begin.  
  
* * *  
  
The mallot wielders strain  
  
And the residents are in pain  
  
We march the perimeter  
  
Sarah's up front  
  
And cadences (holy!) behind  
  
Ellen's in virtual control of things  
  
  
  
Last game's in the rain  
  
And seniors think it's a pain  
  
To be lugging instruments in garbage bags  
  
The saxes led by Maggie  
  
Know exactly where to be  
  
And trumpets fall apart by the trees  
  
Clarinets cant be heard  
  
The podium is spurned  
  
And hats everywhere are stolen  
  
The sousaphones are heavy  
  
The flute song is piping  
  
And percussion is at it full swing  
  
Songs will be marched  
  
Blocks will be formed  
  
And the Wildkit flag will be ran  
  
While the football players are loosing  
  
We are refusing  
  
To stop our loud and obnoxious cheering  
  
* * *  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own anything or anyone that doesn't rightfully belong to me. If there's any other legal mumbo jumbo I'm supposed to write, well, this is where it'd go. 


	2. Concert Band Spirit

A Concert Band Spirit  
  
Aniah/Jessica Katz  
  
AniaHope@aol.com  
  
* * *  
  
Disclaimers: I am a clarinetist in the lower band. I do not own anything except what belongs to me; like my mind.  
  
From the author who brought you "Why the ETHS marching band is Holy" and "Cult of the Swim Team" comes the story behind the ETOWN concert band in all it's insanity!  
  
* * *  
  
1 O –  
  
To sit where you sit  
  
Take your trumpet  
  
And bend it in a fit  
  
Of pure malice  
  
  
  
So states the stately first trombone  
  
While the saxes wail lines  
  
From bygone marching days  
  
And the tympanist quit  
  
'Cause Fodor had no patience with him  
  
  
  
The bells really are nonexistent  
  
Lower band's just asking for it  
  
'Cause the last concert  
  
Was complete and utter bull sh*t  
  
  
  
Flute jokes abound  
  
Tho most of them frown  
  
Clarinets have a tendancy  
  
Toward well-played neutrality  
  
And TUBA be praised,  
  
It was in tune today! 


	3. Cult of the Swim Team

Cult of the Swim Team  
  
Aniah/Jessica Katz  
  
AniaHope@aol.com  
  
* * *  
  
Disclaimer: I do not have a crush on any of the members of the ETHS swim team. I used to, till I bumped my head on the headboard (mentally) of my bed last night. I smiled to myself and thought: "I was an idiot, but now am over it/was tired, and now will sleep." Oh, and btw, I have to this date never attended an ETOWN swim meet.  
  
* * *  
  
They were everywhere  
  
Towering above  
  
Moving as a body  
  
Moving as one  
  
  
  
Frantically she acted  
  
Trapped surround  
  
They were everywhere  
  
Barring her all around  
  
  
  
Their backpacks dug into her  
  
Their heads were shaved  
  
They were all big and burly  
  
They all looked the same  
  
  
  
Their shirts said "Swim Team"  
  
They were unnaturally fast  
  
The roar of the stadium  
  
"ETOWN will kick Trevian a**!"  
  
  
  
Their turnks didn't drag  
  
Their suits streamlined  
  
The splashes they made  
  
Flew up sky high  
  
  
  
The meet was suddenly over  
  
She thought she might faint  
  
When the one she admired  
  
Asked her out the next day  
  
* * * 


	4. Michael Resource Center (Day in the life...

Typical  
  
The tapping of the computer keys are the only noise in the Michael Resource Center...they wish. Everyone is hard-working at their task, intent on accomplishment. The freshmen are grouped in one corner, studying for the next Doud test...the Sophomores are using the PCs for the second-semester health classes. The juniors are off getting signatures for Honor Society, and the Seniors...eh. They're just there, mooching away during their free periods.  
  
A loud burst of laughter comes from them, and the munching of multiple bags of Doritos and the like. A couple wear varsity jackets (the dangerous ones, to be sure) and the rest all have some variation of plaid on their person. The girls' hair is long, the guys' shaved. A typical day in the life of...whom?  
  
The freshmen chortle, suddenly, rediscovering amongst the trash of their lives the Medieval/Renaissance Architecture notes they had believed lost forever. Gabbing incessently, they forever study for tests that they usually fail. Such is the cynical eye of the test-writer, Mr. Doud.  
  
A bunch of juniors, mostly patrons of the art department, come in next. They are talking about the Jazz Caberet from the past weekend, and whether it was worth the money they spent on instrument polish, reeds, and guitar strings. One of them looks especially radient; it's her seventeenth birthday.  
  
The sophomores begin rebelling against their health teacher; a stocky woman in a warm up suit. Soon, wadded up Sex-ed pamphlets are being thrown everywhere, and the monitor on one PC has been bashed in, causing a large, electrofying cloud to explode into the air. Someone pulls the nearest fire alarm, and soon the whole of the east wing is outside, on the pavement.  
  
Classroom-bound students crave to know what happened, but only those present in the MRC really know. The one kid who got electrocuted is taken away on one of the ambulances that responded to the alarm, and once his wounds are healed he will be suspended for an amount of time to be determined by a committee of MRC employees.  
  
The seniors stalk off in the distant direction of the nearest fast- food stand; regardless of their schedule. The juniors jump the next 208 Pace bus, and head for lunch in Downtown Evanston. The freshmen head to Boltwood for their repast, and the sophomores are packed into an empty studyhall room for a talking to by their Dean, Associate Principal, and various other people who have to do with discipline.  
  
A week later, the whole episode is forgotten. The Bacon Computer center staff have replaced the broken monitor, the freshmen have gotten their Doud tests back, and the seniors are back in their corner, feuding as usual. The juniors have all made the Honor Society, and the sophomores involved with the Health Class Rebellion of 2002 are banned from the MRC forever more. Just a typical situation at ETHS. 


	5. Problematic

Problematic  
  
* * *  
  
Ae, it's the ETHS-Trevian Home game from the eyes of the pep band's lowest clarinet…  
  
* * *  
  
Trevs can't count backwards  
  
The amps are falling off the stand  
  
The food's outrageously expensive  
  
The band should be placed by height  
  
  
  
The JV loses badly  
  
The seats start filling up  
  
More Etown patrons  
  
Then Trevian suck-ups  
  
  
  
The team in their warm-up suits  
  
The coaches' ravings aren't mute  
  
Cheering of the standing-roomless stadium  
  
It's all wild at Welsh-Ryan  
  
  
  
The parking lot is packed  
  
The buses can hardly get through  
  
The sojourn of the season's here  
  
To beat the Trevs, laugh, and sneer. 


End file.
